Psychologoy for living
I was shopping one evening recently, picking up a few odds and ends in a department store. As one of my purchases was too big to carry around, one of the service clerks left it at the customer service desk, so that I could pick it up when I was finished.
As I approached the desk, there were two clerks there. One was assisting another on the till. She was good naturedly teasing the one she was helping. Both were smiling, and so was the customer.
The first clerk was obviously enjoying helping others. When it was my turn, she turned her friendliness towards me. Only later, as we were driving away, did my daughter remind me that the clerk had called me by name before I had even removed my credit card from my wallet. She must have recognized me from the picture at the top of this column.
While ringing in my purchases, another clerk came and asked if she could show him some schedule. She responded cheerfully that she certainly could and would do so just as soon as she finished helping me.
I later reflected on the fact that this woman had probably been injecting positive energy into people all day; staff and customers alike. I wonder if the store manager has any idea what an asset such a person is. She probably has no idea how many people had a better day because of her.
Once I was working with a client who had been suffering from anxiety and depression. She was off work on stress leave. For people in this situation, sometimes even picking up a few groceries can be an overwhelming task.
She came to a session one day with a beautiful story. She had been shopping in a grocery store and had been feeling very sad. She made her way through the store aisle by aisle. Then, as she turned into the next aisle, there was a woman with a shopping cart, moving towards her. The stranger looked at my client and gave her a big smile. Probably she was a friendly soul, who smiled at people all the time. But that particular day, her smile had an incredible healing effect.
My client said that she was so moved by the fact that a complete stranger would have given her such a friendly smile, that her heart filled with warmth. I think it was as though she had been under dark clouds for a long time, and the strangers smile was like an unexpected ray of sunshine.
What these two friendly women have in common is that they treat strangers as warmly as they would treat their friends. They do not discriminate against strangers. What a shame it is that we often walk around with such straight, serious faces, until we see someone we know. We are all neighbors on this planet, and our stay here is relatively short. A smile or a kind word may impact someone’s life in ways you will never know.
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning psychologist. For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books, CDs or MP3s, visit www.gwen.ca. Follow Gwen on Facebook for inspiration.