A sister is a retired nurse who spent much of her career working with palliative patients. In the last few years of her working life, she encountered Medical Assistance in Dying, or MAID. Though it was a steep learning curve for everyone on the floor, and was seen by some as being very much at odds with what palliative care is about, Helen counted on her sense of curiosity to lead her into the process, and was able to be present when several of her patients carried out their final wish to die, aided by supporting professionals.
In the years that followed, Helen was aware of resistance to the concept of MAID, of fear and highly charged reactions. A chaplain at a senior’s home was reported to have told folks that MAID is simply about “children wanting to get at their parent’s money sooner.”
Helen’s passion was engaged. She did some research, and soon let it be known that she was willing to speak to groups of folks about MAID. Her presentation would be information based, what are the regulations, what are the criteria used as decisions are made as to whether patients will indeed meet the criteria. Also, Helen told stories of people she has encountered in the process, people who request MAID, their support givers, and the folks who administer the drugs that are used. All of the involved people are treated gently in her stories.
There is nothing in Helen’s presentation that is morals based, nothing that points to the “right” response or the “Biblical” response. Angry reactions to the concept of assisted dying are respected, as are all comments.
Helen has presented her MAID topic about half a dozen times, and interestingly, each of them has been to a faith based audience. She does not approach her topic as a faith based conviction, but is totally fine if others do. I have been present at about half of those, both as support for Helen, and because I too carry that family curiosity for things that are seen as “out there.”
In my extended family, choices have been made to end lives through MAID. Others are firmly opposed. It’s all good. One of the beliefs that Helen brings to her conversations is a passion for patient autonomy. Ultimately, the one looking at ending their lives should be the decision maker, not so much a professional care giver. That being said, certainly there is an extensive screen through which a person requesting this process must pass. There are many questions, hard questions, crucial questions. Helen and I have often talked about feeling assured that the decision to use this service should always be difficult. As the conversation grows to wonder how people with mental health issues might fit the screen, again, there needs to be slow and thoughtful discernment about how those screens be designed, if indeed they can.
Not surprisingly, the topic of MAID is often used by folks for political gain, inciting fear and inaccuracies. Equally unsurprisingly, there are many special interest groups that have legitimate concerns, that need to have their voices heard. I’m reminded again and again that this isn’t something that can be rushed.
But I feel good about a health care system, including the political component, that is showing leadership in this complicated topic. I’m not sure if I would ever choose to die by intentional choice, but I appreciate the choice. I have loved ones around me who deal with quality of life issues far harder than my own. I find satisfaction that they have this option, without being held captive by a notion of what God decrees.
The bottom line, given all the filters that are in place, the bottom line is that the decision be left to the person who is considering MAID. It isn’t for a spouse, children, siblings, parents, loved ones to hold controlling opinions. That’s when it gets messy, that’s when the outcome will be unhappy.
We sell ourselves, and our spirituality short, when we are swayed by another’s insistence that God opposes MAID. Our insistence ignores the quality of life that is someone’s reality, and we fail to respect the spirituality of the one on that journey.
Our God is about compassion and love. Let’s live that.
