Building a strong and enduring relationship requires effort, nurturing and a shared commitment from both partners. I will outline the elements that can make or break a relationship.
There must be open and honest communication. This is crucial to understanding each other’s thoughts, feelings and needs. It is also important to spend quality time together. This does not mean watching television together, but rather making time for date nights, shared hobbies, or simply spending time together without distractions. These experiences help strengthen the emotional connection between partners.
Emotional support strengthens the bond. Be attuned to your partner’s emotional needs,
offering support during challenging times. Empathy and validation are powerful tools in
maintaining emotional intimacy.
Adaptability and flexibility make things run more smoothly. Be open to change, accept each other’s imperfections, and work as a team when facing life’s inevitable challenges. Also, cultivate trust. Honesty, reliability and keeping commitments build a strong sense of trust. Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to restore.
Encourage personal growth and independence within the relationship. Allowing each other to pursue individual passions and interests leads to personal fulfillment in each person, which leads to a more dynamic relationship.
Physical intimacy, emotional closeness along with expressions of love and affection are integral to maintaining a strong connection. Respect each other’s opinions, space, and boundaries. Express appreciation for your partner’s contribution and express gratitude for the little things.
Resolve conflicts gracefully. Disagreements are inevitable but it is important to handle them constructively. Seek understanding, avoid blame and work towards finding mutually beneficial solutions. Angry, hurtful words can damage even the most loving relationship. They negatively impact trust and emotional connections.
No relationships are without ups and downs. The key is to approach these challenges as a team, with a shared commitment to fostering a loving, respectful, and enduring partnership.
If challenges seem insurmountable, seek professional help. Professional therapy can provide valuable tools and perspectives to overcome obstacles. Individual therapy is helpful as well, to understand old wounds and experiences triggered by our partner, as well as inappropriate expectations.
Relationships are complex. If we do not value ourselves, we may attract someone who does not value us. Conversely, our partner may indeed value us, but our own insecurities can cause us to project our feelings onto the partner.
Behaviors can be coming from a subconscious level causing us to believe our partner is responsible for how we feel. When we fall in love, we see our partner with rose colored glasses, because we want them to be just what we need.
If you feel your relationship is damaging to you, and you have implemented the suggestions outlined here, it may be that honoring yourself and getting out of the relationship is the healthiest thing to do.
That decision comes with its own challenges. A therapist can assist you in that process. At such a time support is crucial.
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning psychologist. For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books, CDs or MP3s, visit www.gwen.ca. Follow Gwen on Facebook for inspiration.
