Story Courtesy of L’Itinéraire / INSP.ngo., with files from Amy Romer, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter, Megaphone Magazine
Pierre and Nicole occupy one of the nine cubicles reserved for couples at the Hochelaga shelter, one of the three shelters managed by social services organization CAP St-Barnabé in Montreal, Que., which also houses pets. This is a rarity: in Montreal, there are only 18 beds reserved for couples experiencing homelessness — 16 in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve and two in the Hôtel-Dieu shelter.
The couple shares the space, which is furnished with two bunk beds and a table. But it is difficult for them to enjoy intimacy amid the activity in the corridors between the cubicles, separated only by tarps and two-by-fours.
The situation is the same at Hôtel-Dieu, managed by The Old Brewery Mission. A significant difference: the rooms are closed, which offers more privacy, but requires more vigilance.
“Often, we know the couples from the street,” says Émilie Fortier, director of emergency services at the shelter. “We intervene when we have doubts, and if we observe violence in the dynamics between the two individuals or involvement in sex work, we won’t tolerate that in our facilities.”
Hervey and his wife Lynda have been celibate since they arrived at the Hochelaga shelter. After a frank discussion, the couple decided to set aside their sexual relationship “until they find housing.” Like Pierre and Nicole, they also sleep separately — the shelter’s modest double mattresses are small for two people.
“I miss sleeping cuddled up and peaceful,” says Hervey. “Just that — not even [anything] sexual, but just that — means a lot.”
Megaphone magazine reached out to five shelters across Vancouver to ask about their policies around housing couples together and allowing for physical intimacy in relationships, but only Covenant House, a shelter for youth, responded.
“We have gender-specific floors and generally don’t allow for intimate relations,” said Communications Manager Aurora van Roon. She was unable to offer more information.
Like Montreal, most Vancouver shelters are single-gender; only a few shelters house men and women together.
Catherine Lesage, clinical coordinator for Montreal’s CAP St-Barnabé, believes that it is important to allow couples to sleep together.
“It’s not just about sexuality,” she says, “but intimate contact with the other person,” which can offer stability in challenging situations.
However, apart from funding public health issues, the sexual needs of people experiencing street homelessness hardly resonates positively in the political sphere, says Philippe-Benoit Côté, a researcher at the Montreal Research Centre on Social Inequalities and a sexology professor at the University of Quebec.
“Inexistent, not recognized, associated with risk” are the terms used, he says, adding the sexuality of marginalized individuals is often viewed through the lens of STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and physical safety.
A report from the Collective for a Poverty-Free Quebec, published in 2019, found that, “Because they don’t hold paid jobs, [people experiencing homelessness] supposedly don’t deserve healthy food or decent housing, let alone access to moments of pleasure.”
This view may contribute to the proliferation of tent cities.
“Tents are [used as] alternatives,” says Côté. “Couples prefer not to go to shelters to avoid being separated.”
Is this the experience of shelter staff?
“It saddens me to admit it, but yes,” says the director of the Hôtel-Dieu shelter, acknowledging the inadequacy of service provision for couples experiencing homelessness.
In Vancouver, a tiny shelter project, launched in December 2023 and operated by the Lu’ma Native Housing Society, provides 100-sq.-ft. rooms that look like garden sheds with a mixture of single and double beds for individuals and couples.
“The ability to help pairs is an important feature of this project,” Celine Mauboules told the Vancouver Sun. Mauboules is the City of Vancouver’s managing director of housing and homelessness services.
“People will tell our outreach teams and Lu’ma’s that they’d like to stay together, so therefore they will stay outdoors. And that’s the gap we’re trying to at least put a small dent in,” she said.
Meanwhile, back at the Guertin tent camp in Gatineau, Que., across the river from Canada’s capital city of Ottawa, one couple described experiencing a notable sense of security and peace of mind while residing within the encampment’s confines. The encampment is coordinated by the organization Homelessness Zero, which oversees operations to ensure a well-functioning environment throughout the winter season.
Côté has pushed for public policies to “include positive sexual health in other priorities,” adding that this will require breaking taboos around sexuality.
However, “not all professionals are comfortable and skilled at discussing sexuality with clients,” notes Joris Grail, coordinator of the Sex Work Program at RÉZO, a health organization serving gay and bisexual men.
Jean-Jeannette has been frequenting gay saunas for 30 years and feels very safe within them. They go there primarily to flirt and to pursue sex if they feel a connection. Without these “open and informal” spaces, they claim that they would have resorted to prostitution. Why? Because “nowhere else can the poor afford a room to sleep in warmth and have sexual relations.”
Asked about the difference between a sauna and a brothel, they reply that “there isn’t one; it’s like a brothel.”
But saunas also meet their basic needs: a warm, clean place to sleep with a lockable door, and the opportunity to engage in safe social and sexual activities.
An intimate space
Against a wooden gazebo dubbed the Love Room, recently transformed into a cozy nest for couples experiencing homelessness, an imposing white panel bears the inscription: “All you need is love.”
In Belgium, back in 2017, Brussels organization Corvia carved out the Love Room in the depths of its garden. It’s an intimate space, freely accessible by reservation to homeless couples for a tête-à-tête, akin to renting a cottage for a romantic weekend getaway, or booking a 72-hour stint every two months in a prison “studio” for private family visits, available to certain incarcerated inmates.
The future of the Love Room remains uncertain and attempts to contact organization representatives were unsuccessful, but French television channel France 3 recently interviewed inhabitants.
“I’m 32,” said a young man, seated on the bed inside the gazebo. “My girlfriend is 30. Everything is always tough outside, and when we come here… then we have to go back outside, and that, we don’t want [that] anymore.”
Sociologists term this the “ratchet effect,” whereby people resist reverting to previous undesirable conditions once they have tasted better living conditions, including simply having a roof over their heads while homeless. To have to forsake intimacy again after staying in the Love Room is painful for its tenants.
It was a woman experiencing homelessness who suggested the concept of the Love Room.
“I’m tired of showing my ass in the street,” she told Mathilde Pelsers, head of Corvia. “Do something! Make a f–king house!”
L’Itinéraire vendors on supervised intimacy sites
Simon Jacques, a vendor with Montreal street paper L’Itinéraire who is also homeless, canvassed some of his fellow vendors on this topic.
“Why not establish supervised intimacy sites?” he asked. Here are some of their responses:
- “Having a girlfriend often deterred me from going to shelters. Supervised intimacy sites, like the example in Brussels, could perhaps address issues of rape or non-consent.” —J. (Plateau Mont-Royal)
- “There should be a supervised place to prevent it from turning into a ‘crack house.’ But if there are sites for drug use, I don’t see why there couldn’t be places for intimacy.” – M. (Saint-Michel)
- “The solutions seem scarce to me, apart from a ‘love shack’ or a section for couples in shelters.” – S. (Ville-Marie)
- “If Valérie Plante [mayor of Montreal] invested as much money in homelessness as in bike lanes, perhaps a supervised intimacy site could exist. But I don’t think public opinion would favour such a project. Citizens might not agree to their taxes funding sex for the homeless.” – R. (Hochelaga-Maisonneuve)
- “There should be a comprehensive resource dedicated to this, with accommodation, a screening clinic, sexology, contraceptives, showers and follow-ups. However, there are so many resources for homelessness that people might think it’s excessive.” – R. (Downtown)
