Notes from a messy desk….
A while back, some guy on the radio was being interviewed about his pencil collection. My initial reaction was “This must really be a slow news day.” I didn’t change the channel, though, because I was up to my elbows in suds and a burnt-on frying pan. Which I salvaged by an overnight soak in dish detergent and baking soda. The pan, not me, haha.
Anyway. It turns out that, given a skilled interviewer and an enthusiastic pencil expert, 20 minutes is barely enough to hit the sharp points. But it was long enough to tease a realization out of my mind and into the open….
My name is Lorna, and I’m a pencil addict. There, I’ve said it. I love those little lead sticks with eraser ends, and write with them daily. Often multiple times. Yep, it’s that bad. How did I not see this before? And, if I’m honest, I’m a paperholic too. A double whammy, yikes. One sheet of the delectably touchable, foldable, writable, file-able stuff is too many and a thousand are not enough.
I’m basically mainlining as I write this: pencil in hand, loose leaf binder in front of me filled with pristine, untouched pages. And in the same way that a drinker who smokes must light up a cigarette to go with the booze, I have a cup of coffee to sip while I fashion fun sentences, erasing at intervals for an extra rush.
The pencils can be managed; they take up little space and aren’t exactly ubiquitous. Tons of things, however, are made from paper, and if your resistance is low the emotional pull can be too much.
I mean, how do you trash Valentine cut-outs proclaiming “to Auntie with Luv” in crooked crayon? Snail mailed penpal letters written in cursive to the teenage you? A birth certificate for the grandfather you never knew but wish you had? Some of us may even have the 1984 sales receipt for their first car. (Okay, it’s me.)
Yep, I love papers and pencils of all sorts and have no intention of giving them up. Call it denial; I’m okay with that. The best I’ve been able to do is cut back on the consumption and storage of my substances of choice.
Yesterday’s project was to shred outdated bank statements. I was on a roll until the machine overheated. While it cooled, I turned to my bookshelves, because books = paper. A grand total of 2 pre-read volumes made it to my thrift store giveaway pile in the basement closet.
While rummaging around there, I discovered a t-shirt that no longer fit, an angry letter to my ex I’d written and never sent, my childhood Barbie doll, and a straw cowboy hat from an Alberta road trip circa 2015.
The t-shirt was relegated to the giveaways, and the hat set aside for an upcoming family barbecue. To wear, not to cook, haha. Bubble-cut Barbie went back on the shelf, poor girl, and I returned upstairs to the now-cool shredder, where the bad karma letter met a crushing end, followed by more bank statements, bills, and income tax forms. “This is progress!” I told myself with a figurative pat on the back.
Things were going great until some cool stuff about origami popped up on YouTube. Then a neat-to video on making envelopes from outdated calendars. Plus an assortment of scrapbooking tips. And – who knew? – apparently wallpaper is making a comeback. Hmm. What I just fold a simple star… and one of these cute little swans…
I’m gonna hate myself in the morning.
Lorna Blakeney is an avid writer who enjoys photography, history, travel, and genealogy. She was born and raised in Prince Albert, earned a B.A. from the University of Saskatchewan, likes to walk, and loves coffee shops. Her column appears the first Friday of the month.
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