Swept from the corners of my mind….
Last week I had a cow. Or rather, I was a cow.
I work at Saskatchewan Polytechnic and last week was Welcome Week on the PA campus. One of the sponsors for these fun events is SaskMilk. They supply a blow-up cow costume and dozens of bottles of vanilla and chocolate milk to hand out to students. All we had to supply was a body to power the costume.
Usually one of the Resources instructors takes on cow duty, but he was unavailable, so I was offered the chance to don the large plastic bovine complete with a huge pink udder, meaningfully utter a medley of moos and hand out delicious drinks. I am no stranger to costumed antics, as I was one of the 1163 registered dinosaurs who took part in the July 1 Guiness World Record attempt at Dundurn in 2023. We danced and had a great time all day in +32C. That temperature was outside the full-body sweat suit, by the way. I have no idea what the temp was inside the costumes other than “swampy”. But I digress.
We had a “dry milk run” the week before as new students were coming on campus. I dressed for a couple hours, finding out I needed more of a fan, and that the head wobbles badly and falls over your face if the zipper isn’t done up all the way. This causes Blind Cow Disease. But we figured out nuances, got tons of smiles, numerous hugs, and many photo opportunities. Good times! I was ready for the outdoor antics the following week.
Enter last Wednesday. It was perfect weather for being a cow. Slightly overcast, slightly cool. Lots of smiling students. I never made it to my booth. Instead, I stayed on the sidewalk between the two buildings and worked the crowd. It was a hoot. Nearby several of my co-workers cheerfully egged on people throwing beanbags at a target. Many hit, and several of my friends ended their time in the water chair very watery indeed. My boss was one of the first to have the pail dump on him, despite his custom-made “My Grandmother Can Throw Better Than You” t-shirt. There were occasional (female) staff who seemed compelled to milk me. Burgers, frisbees, crafts and activities. Tons of fun was had by all.
Lots of this year’s students are from overseas and didn’t seem to know what to do with a naked Holstein offering milk and mooing pathetically if they refused. Some would come back and apologize and take the proffered milk. Others just gave a reserved side-eye. Mind you, lots of Canadian students were reserved at first, too. Eventually, though, there was a world of hugs, photos, and accepted bottles of milk. The giggling was great.
As I had forgotten to bring my neck fan from the dinosaur party, I got hotter and hotter as I danced and mooed and wandered about for that hour and a half. Under my gleaming black and white exterior my shirt was dripping. There were big wet patches soaked through the pant legs. My hair was a tangled mass. My feet were also pointing out that the sneakers I was wearing were old and unsupportive. But it was fun making students laugh and feel comfortable on their new campus and I would happily do it again. You might say I saw an ‘oppor-moo-nity’ and thought I’d ‘milk’ it for all it’s worth.
Cathy Bendle finds humor in the quirks of everyday life, from training teachers to dodging housework. When not writing, she’s either laughing at her pets, frantically Googling for her work assignments, or playing on her iPad. Her column appears every other Wednesday.
