A failing grade in basic mathematics

Have even one in a thousand North Americans ever heard of Kissick’ s Law?  More than 25 years ago, if you were reading the Ontario Medical Review, you would have seen an article, written by Dr. Samuel Vaisrub, explaining the message. Kissick stated that if the U.S. Declaration of Independence was written in contemporary times, it would declare the pursuit of health, rather than happiness, after life and liberty, as the third inalienable right of Americans.

About 50 years ago Kissick, a professor at the renowned U.S. Wharton School of Business, stunned Canadians and Americans with a showstopping speech about the economic laws of health care economics. Considering the ongoing healthcare mess in both countries today, it’s a shame his wise council never took hold.

What did Kissick recommend? It was about what every family in North America knows. If you spend more than you earn, soon enough the laws of economics will trigger bankruptcy. Kissick’s warning was simple arithmetic. Readers should get up, find a pen, and write this principle down over and over.

No society in the world has sufficient money to provide all the healthcare services its population is capable of using, Kissick warned. But he was not finished, so keep you pen handy and keep writing.

He added that even if the nation’s gross national product were expanding at record-setting rates, it would still not be enough. People have a voracious appetite for spending on their health. If left to the forces of demand, healthcare spending would consume the nation’s entire budget.

He said the problem was similar to giving his credit card to his daughter and saying, “Darling, go buy anything you want, and I will pay all the bills.” Kissick hesitated for a moment, and then added, “If what I have told you doesn’t alarm you,” he said to the audience, “I’ll loan you my daughter!”

Economists have been saying the same thing. For decades, healthcare spending in many places around the world has been outpacing economic growth. It’s simply not sustainable. We are no longer approaching the time when we will be forced to accept the consequences. We have reached it. The pursuit of healthcare has limitations. Our collective psyche must face the reckoning. We will have less, not more, healthcare spending. And if refusing to accept this, then we will have worse roads, backed-up sewers, poorer education, and you name it, a lot less to invest in everything else that we like to take for granted.

An old joke offers the definition of a healthy person.  It’s someone who hasn’t been seen by enough doctors or had enough tests done. And this is true. Inevitably, everyone will find one health problem or another.

But being obsessive about health, always wanting more and more care, is neither advisable nor feasible. As governments face the hard reality of cancelling their healthcare credit cards, you can be sure they’ll never tell you straight up about it. Voters don’t want to hear about it, especially that enormous cohort of the population that is aging into retirement years.

There is a better alternative. People should be less obsessive about healthcare and more determined to avoid the need for it. The human body is an amazing organism, but only if not abused by cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs, both legal and illegal, by junk food, by lack of exercise, and by the long list of environmental and other global problems.

Can we make the shift? Or do we need to pray for divine intervention to avoid this disastrous train wreck.

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Work hard to be 100 and healthy

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Few children have the good fortune of wishing “Happy 100th Birthday” to a vibrant, healthy parent reaching that esteemed age. But that’s what my brothers and I are doing this week. We’ve had the incredible journey of growing up with Dr. W. Gifford-Jones as our dad!

Countless people have asked, what’s the secret to reaching 100? The truth is lots of people are figuring it out.

In Canada, there are about 10,000 centenarians, people aged 100 or older. In the U.S., the figure is nearing 100,000. And worldwide, it’s an astounding 722,000 people.

Some centenarians are living well.  Unfortunately, there is a darker side such longevity, as many are not living well at all.

There is wide variation in the research, but a conservative estimate is that 60% of centenarians suffer from dementia, a devasting consequence for them and their families. Living through old age can be an outright punishment if mobility is impaired, leaving people dependent on assistance with daily care.  Better management of chronic diseases is a mixed blessing. Is extending life worth it when quality of life is gone?

There’s no question. Following the formula for healthy aging is the right thing to do, and you know the components. If you need a reminder, read past Gifford-Jones columns. If you need motivation, volunteer your time in your local assisted living facility.

Living to be 100 isn’t the only goal.  You want to get there and be healthy! So, what might be key to the success of the “escapers”, the centenarians who keep their marbles and their muscles?  What sets my father apart, and people like him?

The answer might be that my father works hard at his health and everything else. If you break his life into decades, you’d have a story like this. A precocious childhood, with loving parents. An active youth, testing his mettle. In his 20s, scoring a seat at Havard Medical School. A career push into specialization in his 30s. By his 40s, Gifford-Jones emerged as an author, an advocate for a woman’s right to abortion, and a contrarian voice calling for common sense in the medical profession. In his 50s, he managed three fulltime jobs – a busy surgeon, a weekly columnist, and a fabulous family man to his wife and four children. The decade of his 60s marked a period of more fighting – for better pain management in healthcare, against obesity and diabetes, and for patients to use common sense in their lives.

By 70, most people slow down.  Not my father.  He continued to do surgery until 75, and he saw patients in his office until the age of 87. Also in his 80s, he was writing books on alternative medicine, interviewing doctors and scientists around the world, and continuing his weekly column.

The decade of his 90s was remarkable. That’s when he began yet another new career move, formalizing his role as an advocate for a powdered form of vitamin C and lysine supplementation that allowed for easier consumption of the high doses he advocated for protection against cardiovascular disease. This decade saw him traveling across the continent speaking in community after community about his medical lessons for a healthy life.

At 100, what’s his message? “I’m not finished yet,” he says. “Stay tuned, because I have more to say and new efforts to champion in getting more people to lead healthier lives.” When, we ask, are you going to retire? “Ten years after I’m dead,” he replies.

It’s his endless hard work that sets this man apart. We’re looking forward, and in the meantime, celebrating a 100th birthday!

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Never Ignore the Symptoms of Early Heart Failure

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Common Sense Health – W. Gifford-Jones MD and Diana Gifford-Jones

Years ago, after interviewing Dr. Michael McDonald, I asked, “Will you be my cardiologist?” Now, as I reach my 100th year I’m grateful his sound advice has kept me alive. He’s associated with the world class Peter Munk Cardiac Center affiliated with the University of Toronto. During my visit he stressed that more patients would be living longer if they reported to their doctors the early signs of heart failure. Prevention is always better than cure.

Never forget this fact. We are all living longer and so is our heart. Today, if you’re over the age of 65, heart failure is the most common reason for being admitted to hospital. And when heart failure starts, this means a life expectancy of 2.1 to 5 years.

I never fail to be amazed when I listen to a patient’s heartbeat. It only stops beating when life ends. In the meantime, by the age 70 this remarkable machine has been beating 2.5 billion times without any holiday. What other organ of the body would agree to such punishment?

What can go wrong to trigger heart failure? The main cause is a previous heart attack that has caused death to part of the heart’s muscle. This injury reduces the heart’s ability to pump adequate amount of blood to the rest of the body.

But there are several other less obvious factors, such as birth defects, injured heart valves due to the infection by rheumatic fever, a blood infection that scars heart valves, hypertension, and aging.

What are the symptoms of early heart failure?  Patients may complain of early fatigue or notice a lingering slight cough. Later on, there may be shortness of breath and swelling of the ankles. Or an x-ray of the lungs done for other reasons shows an enlargement of the heart.

What can be done to increase the length of life when the body begins to falter? Timing is essential, as injured muscle cannot be restored. Drugs are available that decrease the heart rate, thereby decreasing the workload of the heart. Water pills will also decrease the disabling symptoms of heart failure.

But the larger question is why have heart failure and other forms of cardiovascular disease become the number one cause of death?

The blunt answer is the ongoing pandemic of both obesity and type 2 diabetes. It’s well known that 95 percent of type 2 diabetes is due to obesity. Just look around you to see what’s happening and it is shocking.

Type 2 diabetes is also notorious for causing hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis). These hard arteries cause extra strain on the heart’s muscle. It’s the prime example of the Gifford-Jones Law that one heath problem leads to another and another.

Dr. Michael McDonald and the Peter Munk Cardiac Centre cannot fight these diseases alone. Rather, it will take Draconian measures to achieve increased physical activity and watching calories to reverse the obesity bandwagon that’s the ultimate cause of it all.

President Abraham Lincoln sounded the alarm years ago. He reminded people that they have two legs and to use them. We would add, buy a bathroom scale and step on it daily to prevent surprises.

What about me? At 100 years I’ll need to be alert and watch for shortness of breath, unusual fatigue, swelling of ankles or a slight cough that fails to end. Make sure you also report these early signs of heart failure to your doctor.

Shakespeare was right when be reminded Brutus, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves.”

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Do unto others lesson needs retelling

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What do you hope for each morning as your tired eyes read the news? You try to be a positive person, but day by day, things are getting worse. The world is in an awful mess.

If there is a God, how cruel a deity to let suffering continue. Is it sacrilegious to ask, what exactly will it take to have the Second Coming of Christ? How much bloody war, climate chaos, and civil disintegration is required before we learn to follow a simple and sane edict? “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

The problem is times have changed. The only Christ we can anticipate in 2024 is a “deep fake”. The dumbing-down of social media preys upon any remnants of a moral compass among our political and business elite. How can we teach our children the golden rule when public leaders never abide it?

What are we to do? This Gifford-Jones father-daughter team is running out of creative suggestions. It’s a return to common decency that’s needed. We say, let’s load up on basic human kindness. Let’s utilize this feature of our abilities to a far greater degree than whatever unfortunate leanings we may have toward indecency and unkindness. And until we welcome back the Messiah, could enough of us doing the right thing make enough of an impact to keep the planet from an early end?

This week includes Valentine’s Day. It’s a telling fact that this day to celebrate love, although recognized in many ways around the world, is nowhere a public holiday. It’s a day rich in history, but poor in meaning to us. Like most other things, the concept of love has been commercialized, and therefore cheapened.

But love is synonymous with hope. It is enduring, forever resistant to evil by those who will not relinquish it.

Shakespeare’s eloquence on love is plentiful. But he got straight to the point with this sound advice, “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” It’s not hard to do, but why do so few people live by it?

Here are a few suggestions to help get things started.

One, you will do yourself and others a world of good if you “shower the people you love with love” as James Taylor sang. Use this Valentine’s Day (and every day that follows) to let your love rain! For those who can do it, a switch to a more generous mindset can be life-altering when fighting the downward spiral of depression, for example.

Two, if you adore sharing a chocolate treat, make it high-quality dark chocolate. Cocoa contains fiber, iron, and other important minerals. The antioxidants in chocolate help protect blood vessel walls and inhibit inflammation. But moderation is the key, as chocolate is also a high-fat, high-sugar food and packs a big caloric wallop.

Three, there’s nothing wrong with random acts of kindness, and doing them has been shown to be extraordinarily good for your health. One study showed that the more people spend money on other people, the lower their blood pressure. Another study provided hypertensive people with $40 to spend. Half were asked to spend it on themselves; the other half were instructed to spend the money on someone else. If you guessed the later group had lower blood pressure at the end of the study, you are right. It was equivalent to the effects of being put on an exercise program!

Perhaps we have gotten angry with frustration about the world. It’s understandable. But what we all really need is for someone to tell us, “I love you.”

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Barbers now being trained to spot clients with troubled minds

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Is necessity or curiosity the mother of innovation? Sometimes good old common sense is the driving factor, and there will be no Nobel prize for seeing the obvious. That, however, is what’s behind a new development in barber shops and hair salons.

What’s the buzz? It’s that barbers and hairdressers are be trained to detect mental health problems among the clients sitting in their chairs. It makes perfect sense. People regularly confide in their trusted barber or hairdresser the most personal details of their lives. And these chats are enough to detect signs of troubled mental health. With a small amount of training, hair stylists can help direct their customers to sources of support.

Using barbers and hairdressers as a portal to mental health assistance appears to be a growing trend in several countries including the U.K, U.S., and Canada. As Daniel Reale-Chin recently reported in The Globe and Mail, groups like Black Mental Health Canada (BMHC) are training barbers to become first responders to members of their communities. BMHC deserves credit for applying a little common sense, something as uncommon these days as the dodo bird.

Past Gifford-Jones columns have lauded taxicab drivers for having more old-fashioned horse sense than some doctors. Taxicab drivers and barbers are often wise philosophers and astute observers. They usually talk about and pass along sound opinions on many current affairs. Importantly, they are experienced in listening. There’s no doubt they can be effective in detecting early symptoms of stress, unusual behaviour, and mental anguish among their customers.

One of the great problems of mental illness is the stigma and fear of others knowing that you’re suffering from this problem.  It will always be the stumbling block to early diagnosis. But being in a barber’s chair or sitting in a hairdressing salon is the right atmosphere to allow those with mental difficulties to unwind and inform their barber, or hairdresser, that something is disturbing their well being.

Moreover, many people build a trusted relationship with their hair stylist. You can talk about what’s eating you day after day without the whole world knowing. The very fact that your normally polished exterior is removed in the salon mirror while having your hair done may facilitate the sense of a reality check. The trusted barber offers a private, safe place to hint that you’re not as calm and collected on the outside as it appears when the polish is on.

Alice Wiafe is a registered psychotherapist and president of BMHC. The aim of this charity is to improve mental health within the Black community. As reported by Real-Chin, she says that the number of Black people suffering from mental health challenges is even higher than found in surveys like the one conducted by Statistics Canada, in which 27.9 per cent of Black visible-minority respondents self-reported fair or poor mental health compared with 22.9 per cent of white respondents. Wiafe notes, Black people need a little prodding to tell the truth about their mental health.

Taking the initiative to see a mental health specialist, or finding such services, can be a real roadblock. So training barbers, hairdressers, taxicab drivers, and even bartenders to help address this problem is an innovative move. BMHC trains barbers and hairdressers to tread carefully on this matter. They should only discuss mental health if they sense clients want to discuss what troubles them.

Now the key is to make sure sufficient services are available to handle the certain uptick in demand and referrals.

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In the lab with natural immune formulas

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This week let’s look behind the scenes, in the labs where doctors and scientists are designing health supplements that address specific goals. What’s motivating them? What are they trying to do? And how successful are they?

There are thousands of natural health supplements on the market – from vitamins and minerals to botanicals and proteins, plus all kinds of things falling into categories like enzymes and fatty acids. Then on top of this, there all the natural therapies offered by physical therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, and so on. Collectively, it’s a mega-billion set of industries.

Complicating the scene are corporations, like Proctor & Gamble, Bayer, and Abbott. Going toe to toe in the marketplace with these giants are small businesses, whom we can say from working with them for so many years, are the experts most worth listening to.

Let’s talk then about that profit motive of either the drug companies or the natural health industry. What’s important is not that they are making money. If we all were as industrious, the economy might be better. No, we have no issue with making money from products that genuinely help people. The worst to come of it might be a small dent in the wallet – nothing in comparison to gambling, junk food, tobacco, and countless other industries that destroy lives and deserve our wrath.

Specific to healthcare products, it’s the pharmaceutical ones, with their side effects, that should trouble us. We need to scrutinize them carefully, because they come with risks and sometimes when they work well, they give society a “get out of jail” pass. What’s the incentive to work at health if a pill will do it?  It’s no good when drugs are just treatments, not solutions to the root problems.

Next, let’s look at the people in the labs working on natural products – like a powdered form of a root. You can take your chances with the lady growing the root in her backyard, or you can find umpteen versions of the same thing produced by those who test and validate the potency, cleanliness, and ethical sources of the root. Either way, unless we are talking about mushrooms, you are likely not going to get sick – and you might find help for your problem.

For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been writing about postbiotics. The product getting the Gifford-Jones stamp of approval is Certified Naturals Postbiotic Immune Formula containing Epicor, a fermented yeast that has all the important metabolites that probiotics produce ready for immediate absorption. Unlike prebiotics and probiotics, postbiotics are already fermented before it gets to the gut. Here’s an example of scientists in a lab creating a product that clean, stable, and loaded with the nutrients beneficial to the gut and fueling the body’s natural immune system.

Does Epicor have any negative side effects? No. Is it backed by clinical trials evaluating effectiveness in reducing the risk of colds and flus? Yes. Is it designed by credible scientists in trusted labs? Yes. Is Certified Naturals Postbiotic Immune Formula, the product we recommend, manufactured in inspected facilities? Yes, it is.

A Gifford-Jones mantra is “all things in moderation”, and that goes for feeding your gut too – with food or supplements.

Always be sure to keep your doctor informed of what supplements you are taking. For people with low or high blood pressure, this is especially important. Pregnant and breastfeeding women should also take extra care in what they eat and what supplements they take. Never forget, keep your pills, supplements, and any other dangerous substances well out of the reach of children.

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Postbiotics for the Gut, Body, and Brain

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Last week’s column suggested we are minnows in the grand life adventure. This week we’ll look at little beings in our bellies that seem to have outsized influence. What is it about these microscopic components of the gut-brain connection that leads us to thinking that a postbiotic supplement might be a very good investment.

The gut microbiome is like a neighbourhood of friends you carry around in and on your body for your entire life. Just as the environment outside your body and the way you live your life have consequences for your well-being, this gooey world in your gut has enormous impact on your health, from head to toe and cradle to grave.

What exactly is it? The gut-brain microbiome refers to a bustling two-way street between the gastrointestinal tract and the brain, fueled in part by the vast community of microorganisms residing in the gut.

In 1972, microbiologist Thomas Luckey estimated the human gut is home to 100 trillion microorganisms – bacteria, viruses, fungi, and more. They make mighty contributions to brain health. About 90-95% of the body’s serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation, is produced in the gut.

Imbalances in the gut microbiome have been linked to various mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and stress-related disorders. Neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s disease have also been associated with alterations in the gut microbiota. How they work is being studied, but there seems to be a role in the progression of disease.

The gut microbiome, when working well, helps regulate the immune system too by distinguishing between harmful pathogens and beneficial microorganisms. When failing to perform, immune systems weaken, and inflammation goes unchecked.

Chronic inflammation could be a sign of an unhealthy gut microbiome. This kind of inflammation has been implicated in various diseases, including those affecting the brain.

Understanding this dynamic interplay between the gut and the brain is a rapidly evolving area of research, and there is still much to learn about the specifics of how the microbiome influences brain function and vice versa. However, it is increasingly clear that maintaining a healthy gut microbiome is important for overall health, including for mental and neurological health.

Here’s the interesting part. Unlike our lot as minnows in the great ocean of life, we can influence our body’s inner ocean with the right fuel to achieve a better balance in the microbiome.

A healthy gut will have ample communities of probiotics (healthy bacteria that convert fiber into beneficial compounds), prebiotics (a group of nutrients, mainly fiber, that feed these healthy bacteria), and postbiotics (bioactive compounds that offer important benefits to your body).

A healthy individual eating a diet that includes plenty of fiber and essential nutrients should enjoy a robust, well-functioning gut. But many people are kidding themselves as they consume foods high in animal proteins, sugar, salt, and saturated fat – just the ticket to punish gut bacteria and invite inflammation and chronic disorders.

Yet, as healthy food prices remain high, getting enough fiber and optimal nutrition is hard, even if you are trying to make the right choices. Is the cost of a supplement the right investment?  If a boost to your microbiome gives you a better chance at reducing the risk of conditions like dementia, it’s money well spent.

Postbiotics are a relatively new option, offering targeted formulas that delivery more efficacy in achieving health benefits. Visit your local health food store and find out why experts recommend one product over another. Be sure to purchase from trusted sources offering products containing high quality natural ingredients backed by independent clinical studies.

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Jobs one, two and three for lifelong health

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By the time you are reading this article, the stakes establishing the life course of your health have long been set. Your genetic inheritance, location, and family circumstances, combined with a complex set of early life factors determine how your health trajectory will begin. Through childhood and adulthood, you have opportunities to influence your well-being, but in the grand scheme, it’s tinkering at the margins. As you age, the question becomes, what can you do to maximize good health and minimize the impact of the inevitable decline?

Taking good care to avoid the obvious pitfalls is job number one. Parents need to teach children about safety as early in life as possible. And everyone needs to practice safety daily and for all time. If you are smoking, you have failed. If poisons, weapons, or other dangerous items are in reach of children, correct the situation immediately. Practice the basics daily, like looking both ways when you cross the street.

Using common sense isn’t enough. We need to accept the extraordinary role of luck in our lives – for better or for worse. That said, you can influence your luck if you work at it. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case with your health. Empathy is owed to those who have done the right things and still get delt the bad luck of a terminal cancer diagnosis. It’s not fair when tragedy strikes.

What’s job number two, after basic safety and preventing injuries? It’s establishing the best possible conditions for healthy development in early life. Prospective parents, take note. Choose your partners well, know your medical histories as you prepare to have children, and be sure to follow pre-conception advice – e.g., no smoking or drinking, and folic acid in the diet.

Thereafter, one of the most marvellous processes that is crucial to lifelong health is the establishment of the intestinal microbial environment during the initial thousand days of life. A lively community of bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa make their home in the gut, on the skin, in the eyes and mouth, in the respiratory and genitourinary tracts. Many factors influence the development of microbiota and cognitive development through, in part, how we feed the gut-brain connection.

Breast milk is the ideal start, followed by the introduction of a variety of solid foods. Exposure to infections plays a role. Use of antibiotics is a consideration. Mental health is key too. A crying baby serves a natural purpose of priming normal functions. But it shouldn’t be a surprise that an absence of comforting will impair healthy development.

Job number three is continuing job number two – personal health promotion for the rest of one’s life. This means following a healthy lifestyle of eating well, exercising regularly, getting good sleep, socializing with friends, and so on.

And finally, in the years when aging becomes more apparent, the business of tinkering at the margins can take on greater urgency. For the lucky and the healthy, each additional trip around the sun comes along in natural order. For those who need to fight a little harder against mounting health problems, there should be thanks for the cures, patches, and hopeful interventions that seek to extend the journey.

Next week, we’ll have a closer look at the gut-brain microbiome, and what you can to do feed the connection.  This is a good area for personal health investment as a ballooning body of research points to new treatments for chronic stress and other mental health issues, inflammation, immune health, digestive health, cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease, and cancer.  Much promise, indeed.

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An Active Lifestyle is the Right Resolution

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One week into the New Year, and how are you doing on your resolutions? Most people make ambitious plans at the end of December and by this point can’t remember what they were. A few people overdo it, like those who commit to running a marathon before they’ve had success with a daily walk. If you are constantly worrying about how to strike the perfect balance, that’s also a waste of your time and no help for your heart.

The best habits for health are regular moderate exercise, a healthy diet, good sleep, and an upbeat outlook. First thing in the morning, every morning, is a natural time to check in with yourself. Step on a scale and make sure the number you see never goes above your set healthy weight. If it does, use intermittent fasting and moderate activity to get back in your zone. Take a moment to plan the good health elements of your day, making them enjoyable pursuits.

People often set their goals too high. The classic examples are patients who have been told by their doctors that they have blocked coronary arteries. Anyone having experienced and survived the crushing pain of a heart attack will know how living with the threat of impeding doom drives a commitment to action. A myocardial infarction becomes an “ego infarction” and they simply overdo it. Too much, too suddenly is risky business.

Regrettably, some patients become cardiac basket cases. Take the story of the doctor diagnosed with heart disease who lay in bed for hours on end listening with a stethoscope to the beat of the heart.

No sane doctor would advise this, nor that patients take up marathons. A common funny line goes, “Whenever I feel like exercising, I lie down until the feeling passes.” Good marks for humour, but not the right approach.

Being inactive is the same as being in decline. Muscles atrophy. Bones lose mass. Circulation weakens and less oxygen reaches vital organs. Mood is dampened. Social connections dissipate. Unless you are lying around outside in the sun, a vitamin D deficiency is probably involved. The list goes on.

So yes, go out and buy a new pair of running shoes to carry you through the year ahead. But you might consider calling them walking shoes.

There are a multitude of studies on how exercise impacts the human body, including those that compare intensive training with more moderate efforts. The findings show that you don’t need to push it with strenuous exercise. A study at Guelph University found that moderate exercise five days a week had better results in terms of reduced body fat and improved blood pressure than shorter periods of more intense exercise three days a week.

Regular moderate exercise is also known to help control blood sugar levels. Aerobic activities like going for a brisk walk will lower glucose levels, while weightlifting, for example, and other high intensity activities can have the opposite effect.

Getting outdoors for exercise has other benefits. Researchers have found changes in brain chemistry from a walk in the woods. People suffering from depression report it’s a do-it-yourself form of therapy. The cost of a pair of shoes and some time out of your day are far better investments in well-being than resorting to pharmaceutical drugs designed to treat one problem or another.

Here’s a challenge for the new year. Ask your doctor to tell you their preferred approach to fighting heart disease or depression. If they start to list the latest drugs, then walk, don’t run, for the woods!

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Talking about Sex, Love, and Safety

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Marilyn Monroe, the American actress and sex symbol of the 1950s, said, “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.” It was scandalous then, and speaking about sex is still difficult terrain for many people.

A reader recently asked for our thoughts on how to advise young people about sex. The New Year is as good a time as any other to talk about sex – how it relates to life, love, luck, and liberty, and to pain, panic, power, and other potential problems.

For those hoping we’ll disclose the information and tools you need to talk about sex with your loved ones, it’s necessary to splash a little cold water. This week’s column is full of cautionary notes, and here’s the first one. It’s impossible to treat any topic well in the 600 words allocated each week.

If we have any sage advice, it’s that readers do their homework. To get a decent understanding of any topic, especially complex health ones, you need to read a lot, consult widely, and think about how the issues relate to your family history and context. We hope our brief commentaries spark such efforts and thinking.

Regarding the challenge of talking with youth about sex, we’d offer three starting points. One, it’s a good idea to acknowledge that, for all its joys, sex has risks, complications, and consequences. So, if you are not ready to discuss diseases, relationships, and financials, you are probably not ready to talk about sex! Go back to start.

Two, face-to-face discussions can be a turn-off to youth, as can traditional mores. “Mother knows best” could be adjusted to “More experienced people who know you well might be worth listening to.” But even that done, kids will always reject authority, so pointing them to good resources they can access on their own might be a good option. Maybe waiting for a ring is outdated, but there is something to be said for a little forethought and deliberation.

Three, safety is paramount.  It might be boring, but like a good insurance policy, analysis of risks and paying a premium to prepare for the worst-case scenario is a worthwhile investment. It’s an awful fact that its not uncommon for young people to experience sexual assault either personally or in their friend group. Make sure they know where to turn for help.

Birth control needs to be explained and easily accessible. Safe sex includes using condoms to protect from sexually transmitted diseases.

Talking about sex is part art, part connect the dots. Either way, for many people, it is hard to open a discussion.

The downside of not discussing sex with the young people you love is relinquishing the territory to less honourable sources. The images and messages they will encounter online are probably not your idea of healthy sex education.

But take heart, there are other topics that, apparently, are harder to discuss. Studies have found that parents of teens find it more difficult to talk about weight with their child than talking about sex. That’s something to think about!

Keep these things in mind. One, there are resources to help. Two, everyone likely has a few questions they’d like to surface. Three, everyone has biases too, and if they can be acknowledged, the discussions might be easier.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer always gave her advice straight and to the point. “When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.” Tell that to the kids. The joke is easy to remember and there’s truth in the humour.

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