Ruth Griffiths

People often ask how I choose the topics for my columns. Sometimes the topic I choose is seasonal, such as the Advent series in December. But most often I write about something I have thought about while talking to other people. During conversation, a question will arise which sparks my interest. I wonder “how, when, why._”

I love to research and learn about new things. Readers tell me they enjoy learning about new things too. But sometimes my “research” comes from conversations because the richest source of wisdom is from a life well-lived.

At breakfast, I might ask, “How are you today?” Sometimes the answer is, “Well, I woke up!” There comes a time in life when simply greeting a new day is enough. We don’t have to prove our worth to anybody anymore by being productive. Simply living a good life is enough.

When I was a child, I learned the bedtime prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

This old prayer acknowledges our fear that death might overtake us while we sleep. In fact, death is sometimes called “the long sleep.” But amongst the senior population with whom I live, the thought of dying during sleep is not feared. In fact, many people say they hope they will die peacefully in their sleep.

In this, my first column of 2026, I might have been talking about greeting the new year and making predictions. Instead, I’m talking about death and dying peacefully. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you that I am anticipating death at any moment, although that is the reality for all of us. I intend to live a long, long time yet, and I work hard in order to live a happy,  healthy life. But I have been thinking about what it means to live a “productive life”. Should I be shifting my expectations? Perhaps at the end of the year instead of totalling up my accomplishments, I should be satisfied that I have lived another day and look forward to a good night’s sleep. If I should be so fortunate as to wake up the next morning, then surely I have succeeded in life.

North Americans place great emphasis on productivity. Although we say “every life matters,” we give preference to people who are doing things. We give priority in the healthcare system to wage earners and try to get them back into the workforce as soon as possible after an illness or injury.

When I had my first assessment of my low vision disability at the CNIB office in Saskatoon, they were happy that I was still earning income because they could then access a federally funded program to assist disabled people to continue working.

Now in the last quarter century of my life, I need to remind myself not to focus on productivity. I am a “human being,” not a “human doing.”  Every day I’m doing the hard work of being me. I woke up!

The Christmas story is about the birth of Jesus. Not surprisingly, the fourth and final theme of Advent is love.

In Sunday school, I learned that God’s love for us is like a parent’s love for their child. God’s love is all encompassing and everlasting. Because we are human, and imperfect, most parents don’t love everything about their children all the time. But at the moment of birth, a parent has boundless love for their newborn child!

Such was the case when my granddaughter was born 16 years ago. I remember that holy moment, as if it were yesterday.

While the nurse bathed and wrapped the newborn baby girl, her parents embraced, looked into each other’s eyes with great love and promised to be the best parents ever.

I was so privileged to witness that miracle of birth and great love. I stayed out of the way in a corner of the birthing room because it was such a precious private moment for my daughter and her husband. I felt blessed to have participated in that miraculous event. In the blink of an eye my daughter and her husband were transformed by love for each other and love for their newborn daughter.

This month I have been writing my columns on the themes of Advent: hope,  peace, joy and love. Because I write about Advent themes every year, it has become increasingly difficult to find a new approach. So this year I have been sharing personal stories. The story of my granddaughter’s birth is one of the  most special moments of my life. I have my daughter’s permission to share it with you. As you celebrate Christmas and the end of the year, perhaps you can find time to contemplate hope, peace, joy and love. What are the stories from your life that correspond to these themes?

For me, the opposite of peace is not war, but fear. Peace is the second theme for Advent, the four weeks of preparation for Christmas. This week I will talk about how I experienced the threat of war as a child, even though I live in the peaceful post-war era.

The Cuban Missile Crisis was a 13 day confrontation between the United States and the Soviet Union. American deployment of nuclear missiles in the United Kingdom, Italy, and Turkey were matched by Soviet deployments of nuclear missiles in Cuba. The crisis lasted Oct.16-28 in 1962. It was the closest the world came to full scale nuclear war. Canada was geographically at the centre of the fallout of that crisis.

In October 1962 I was 13 years old and in Grade 8. Of all the countries in the world, Canada was the most vulnerable place on Earth to be in a nuclear war between the superpowers. The world held its breath on the deadline day of that standoff between the US and USSR.

The adults didn’t want to scare the children, but we were aware of the threat we faced. I remember clearly hugging my classmates as we left school to walk home for lunch. We were rightfully afraid that we would never see each other again.  I remember thinking maybe I could hide under the kitchen table if nuclear war broke out that day. Ordinary Canadians did not have a fallout shelter, such as that built for government officials in Ottawa.

The trauma of that fearful day lingers with me. Thankfully, I never had to cope with the fatal effects of radioactive fallout, but the psychological fallout remains.

Although my children and grandchildren have not experienced the trauma of the Cuban Missile Crisis, there are many other world events that have overshadowed the peace of their lives.

In October 1962, an American U2 spy plane photographed medium and long-range nuclear missiles in Cuba. US president John F. Kennedy, after conferring with national leaders and his advisors, ordered a naval blockade to prevent further missiles from reaching Cuba. He referred to the blockade as a “quarantine” not as a blockade, so the US could avoid the formal implications of a state of war. An agreement was eventually reached between Kennedy and Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev that the Soviets would dismantle their offensive weapons in Cuba in exchange for a US agreement not to invade Cuba again. The United States secretly agreed to dismantle all of their offensive weapons in Turkey.

During the Cuban Missile Crisis, Canadian armed forces were placed on heightened alert. Prime Minister John Diefenbaker was widely criticized for his hesitant response to the crisis.

The standoff between the US and the Soviet Union was resolved with the help of United Nations diplomats, in particular Secretary -General U Thant who offered suggestions to resolve the crisis. Thant continuously relayed messages between the two superpowers. As Kennedy acknowledged later, “U Thant has put the world deeply in his debt.”

(source, Canadian Encyclopedia)

Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus who is called the Prince of Peace. The first to hear about this special birth were shepherds. Angels greeted the shepherds with a message of peace: “Fear not.”

During Advent, let us calm our fears with God’s assurance of peace.

Advent is the four weeks leading up to Christmas. Each year during Advent, I attempt to write my columns based on the themes of Advent. It gets harder each year to find a new approach to the Advent columns, so this year I’m getting personal.

The Christmas story is both universal and personal. This Advent I will share stories from my life that reflect the themes of Advent.

The first theme of Advent is Hope. As I have written so many times   before, hope is like a candle in the darkness. Hope is the belief that the sun is still shining even though we cannot see it.

In the 1960s, schools began to prepare female students for work outside the home. Girls were encouraged to study mathematics and science. We were told that a university education would guarantee us a rewarding career. Fortunately, I won a scholarship to attend the University of Saskatchewan and began studying toward a bachelor of science degree. After my marriage in 1969, I took a year out from university and worked in the laboratory of the new Victoria Hospital in Prince Albert. I found the laboratory to be an interesting way to apply the skills and knowledge I had acquired at university. I was fortunate that the hospital began a training program for laboratory technologists; I was among those in the first graduating class. Alas, I had educated myself out of a job in the lab and began to look for work in Prince Albert.

Because I had worked at the hospital and contributed to Unemployment Insurance, I was eligible for UI benefits. I was required to attend an appointment at the UI office each week and show that I had been actively seeking employment.

It was difficult to find work because there were so few opportunities for a graduate lab tech. Indeed, I was an anomaly at the employment office. The workers at the counter took down my information, but they had no idea what a registered medical laboratory technologist actually did! I tried to find work at a department store on Central Avenue but was told, realistically, that with my credentials I would just leave them when I found better work. I had heard that the Fisheries office on 15th Street had a laboratory so I brought in my resume. They looked me in the eye and basically told me they would never hire a married woman because her husband would be jealous when she went out to do fieldwork. (Back then it was legal to discriminate on the basis of gender and marital status.)

I became more and more depressed about my lack of employment. It was one of the darkest times of my life. Although I had a roof over my head and we were not in any real financial distress, I felt like a failure. I felt like my high school teachers had told me a lie and that there really were no opportunities for women in science. I felt hopeless.

On one of my weekly visits to the UI office, I was kept waiting longer than usual to submit my paperwork. The receptionist was kind and supportive, but I could see that my worker was standing at the back, joking with a colleague, while keeping me waiting long past my appointment time. I felt disrespected and dehumanized.

When I got home, I typed a letter to the manager of the UI office telling them about the good work that the receptionist had done and the anger I had felt by being kept waiting so long. Years later, I learned that my letter had been put in the HR file for the receptionist, and was one of the reasons she had been promoted. Sometimes complaints really do make a difference to the system.

Fortunately, the employment office came through and told me the Prince Albert Medical Clinic was looking for a lab tech. I was fortunate to work there for several years until the birth of my first child.

Advent is a time of hope, a belief that good things can come out of darkness and despair. I have lived a privileged life and have not experienced great deprivation or pain. However, I know what it is like to feel useless and dehumanized. Out of the darkness of that time of my life, I was able to find hope.

Nov. 20 is the 324th day of 2025r. It is also World Children’s Day established in 1954 to promote international togetherness, awareness and improving children’s welfare. It’s just one of the special things that have happened on Nov. 20. Test your knowledge of these Nov. 20 facts.

1. Which Canadian Prime Minister was born on Nov. 20? 

2. Which US president was born on Nov. 20? 

3. By Nov. 20,1984. McDonald’s had mades 50 billion hamburgers. As of 2025 how many hamburgers has McDonald’s made? 

4. On Nov. 20,1945 The Nuremberg War Trials began as 24 Nazi leaders wee put on trial before judges representing the victorious Allied powers. Which countries brought the charges against the Axis powers? 

5. On Nov. 20, 1805 Ludwig van Beethoven’s only opera, Fidelio, premiered in Vienna. Where was Beethoven born? 

6. In1902 Geo Lefevre and  Henri Desgrange create the Tour de France bicycle race. Has a Canadian won the race? 

7. On Nov. 20, 1886 the first Sherlock Holmes story, “A Study in Scarlet”, was accepted by publisher Ward and Lock. Who was the author? 

ANSWERS

1. Sir Wilfrid Laurie (1841-1919) was Canada’s seventh Prime Minister from 1896 to 1911.

2. Joe Biden, born Nov. 20, 1942, was the 46th president of the United States.

3. The Wall Street Journal reported in 2013 that McDonald’s had made 300 billion burgers. With these numbers, it’s safe to assume that McDonald’s is coming up on its 400 billionth burger now.

4. United Kingdom, United States, Soviet Union and France.

5. Beethoven was born in 1770 in Cologne, Germany.

6. Steve Bauer was the first Canadian to win a stage of the Tour de France. He claimed the yellow jersey at the end of the first stage of the 1988 event. Throughout the race Bauer won an additional four stages and finished fourth overall, another Canadian record.

7. Arthur Conan Doyle.

If this quiz seems crazy, perhaps it is because Nov. 20 is National Absurdity Day. Oddities and weirdness take over on  Nov. 20. It is a day to have fun and do zany things. Use this day as an excuse to let out your silliness.

“The squeaky wheel gets the grease” means that matters that draw attention to themselves are more likely to be addressed than those that do not.

Many of us are reluctant to complain about things, but in reality, it is important that problems or injustice be identified and brought forward. We can improve our community by suggesting things that can be done better.

At a recent meeting with the mayor, it was suggested that multiple complaints about the same issue often bring that issue forward because of the computerized nature of gathering statistics at City Hall.

I am not suggesting that you verbally attack City workers, but you can effectively bring up a situation and perhaps in the process help others who may have felt bashful about bringing forward the same complaint.

Nothing will be done about a problem until somebody points out that the problem exists. For example if you are having problems in your neighbourhood with garbage, you can make a complaint on the City website. You can phone, write a letter or e-mail.

Whichever method of communication you use, the main thing is to be an effective complainer. Here are some ideas about how to complain effectively.

• Act quickly. Don’t waste weeks fuming over the problem before complaining.
• Be calm; don’t “carry on”. Always be polite. The workers who receive your complaint are also people who live in your community; they deserve your respect not your abuse.
• Ensure your grievance is valid. Sending pointless correspondence with little weight won’t get you anywhere.
• Describe events. Bullet points are useful and make it very clear. If the complaint is long summarize the points for example 10 phone calls two visits, two letters, wrong information, etc.
• A photo is “worth a thousand words”. Use photos to support your complaint.
• Stay positive. Say what you want to happen to fix the problem you are reporting. Be specific and realistic.
• Set a deadline for when you expect to hear back and let them know what you will be doing if you don’t receive a satisfactory response.
• Keep copies of everything you may need if you have to take the matter further.
• Practice complaining. If you think you might become too emotional while complaining, perhaps shouting or crying, you can ask a trusted person to help you practice complaining. This will also help you to gather your thoughts.

Have you ever pondered the origins of peculiar customs and expressions? Let us delve into some intriguing examples.

”Knock on wood”: This seemingly absurd practice may have roots in ancient pagan beliefs. It was believed that spirits resided within trees, and expressing a hope for the future could attract their attention. To ward off these malevolent entities, individuals would knock on wood, thereby physically touching or knocking against a wooden object. This Celtic tradition served as a protective measure against supernatural forces.

”Don’t take any wooden nickels”: This cautionary phrase serves as a reminder to exercise caution and avoid being deceived. Wooden nickels, once circulated as tokens or gimmicks, were not actual currency. The phrase evolved into a way of advising individuals to resist fraudulent schemes and shady deals.

”Mad as a hatter”: This idiom is used to describe an individual who exhibits eccentric, unpredictable, or even erratic behaviour. Its origin can be traced back to the 18th and 19th centuries, when hat makers were exposed to mercury during the felt-making process. Mercury exposure often led to erratic behaviour, earning them the moniker “mad as a hatter.”

”Spilling the beans”: This phrase implies revealing a secret. It likely originated from an ancient voting practice involving beans as ballots. When a bean was inadvertently tipped from the jar, the results were revealed.

”Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”: This metaphor cautions against discarding valuable components while attempting to eliminate something undesirable. It serves as a reminder to carefully consider the implications of abandoning an entire idea or system, rather than simply dismissing a single malfunctioning component.

”Mind your Ps and Qs”: This phrase could refer to tavern shorthand for pints and quarts. It emphasizes the importance of polite behaviour and mindful speech, particularly in public settings.

“Put a sock in it” is a mildly humorous way of indicating that someone should be quiet. This phrase may have originated from using socks to dampen the sound of early gramophones. It serves as a playful way to silence an individual who is speaking excessively or at an elevated volume.

“Hit the hay” signifies the appropriate time to retire to bed. This phrase originates from the practice of using mattresses as sacks filled with hay. It is a comforting way of expressing one’s readiness to retire for the night and obtain restful sleep.

Having completed this column, it is now time for me to “hit the hay”.