English has become the international language of commerce and communication. I pity those who must learn English as a second language because my mother tongue is unpredictable and arbitrary. No one disputes that English is a crazy language.
Why does night fall but never breaks and day breaks but never fall?
In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
In what other language do people play at a recital and recite at a play?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
Why, in our crazy language, can your nose run and your feet smell?
In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
Why do they call them apartments when they’re all together?
Why do we call them buildings, when they’re already built?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
My francophone neighbour says she combs her hairs, but she must wonder about me when I talk about my new pair of pants and I only have one garment.
A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, as are a caregiver and a caretaker, a bad licking and a good licking. But a wise man and a wise guy are opposites. How can sharp speech and blunt speech be the same and quite a lot and quite a few the same, while overlook and oversee are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next? Oh yeah, it’s Saskatchewan after all!
