It seems the world has two kinds of people: those who happily chat on the telephone and those who say “Don’t phone me to talk if you can send a text.” I’m torn. Sometimes a phone conversation is just plain nice to have. At other times it’s an annoying intrusion into a person’s activities.
I know a lady who lives some distance away and has stubborn health issues. (Thankfully, she’s even more stubborn.) Recently I called to see how she was doing.
“I don’t talk on the phone much these days,” she informed me. “I find texting works better.” Fair enough. That way, she can carry on a conversation when she feels up to it, in fits and starts if that’s more manageable. The other day I sent a short text to say I was thinking of her. Twenty minutes later came the appreciative response, punctuated with a pink heart emoji. Was it the same as hearing her voice? No. But it beat waiting days or possibly weeks for that elusive “good time to talk”. And, I admit, I’m a bit of a sucker for heart emojis and cute smiley faces, especially when you know the sender would hug you if they could.
Still, humans sometimes yearn for a shot of full-on, back-and-forth, absorbing conversation. Bonus points if this involves two or more people in the same room. Extra credit for connecting at a coffee shop over indulgent drink concoctions (and possibly mini cheesecakes).
The conversational subject matter also matters. A topic that’s fascinating to me – “Looky here, a photo from Find-A-Grave of grandpa’s cousin’s tombstone!” may glaze your eyes over with boredom. Although I can’t imagine why. I mean, this is family history, people! Nope. Glazed like a doughnut. Sigh.
Then there’s timing. Early birds may forget that not everyone’s chirped up for some 8 a.m. telephone banter. Instead, they get “Duh? Is that you? Is it morning?” from certain individuals. Okay, from me. In my defense, I try not to bother you early-to-bedders after 9 p.m. Or fans of the Bold and the Beautiful during show time. I’d thought that program had followed the Edge of Night into a galaxy far, far away, but apparently I mixed it up with Star Wars. Easy mistake.
Maybe living through a pandemic brought the power of human connection, or lack of it, into my focus, or maybe it’s this “being a senior” thing, but I feel differently about conversation than I once did. I appreciate it more, even the seemingly mundane stuff between strangers, like “Thank you” when someone holds a door open, or “Oops! These grocery carts need signal lights!” to avoid an Epic Collision of the Wheeled Menaces. Simply remarking “Wow, what’s up with this wind?” to the couple you meet on the Rotary trail has a good chance of bringing some sort of response. And if you’re taking a stroll in that sort of February weather you’re my kind of breeze-blown, this-trail-is-here-so-dammit-I’m-going-to-use-it people.
Chatting in person isn’t always in the cards, for a hundred different reasons. We can’t necessarily talk on the phone either. We can text, but replies aren’t guaranteed. I’m grateful for any communication that works, whether in person or not.
And since it’s fun to message by keyboard symbol at times, and I appreciate your reading my ramblings, please accept the following colon-and-parenthesis smiley face as a thank you for this conversation. 🙂
Lorna Blakeney is an avid writer who enjoys photography, history, travel, and genealogy. She was born and raised in Prince Albert, earned a B.A. from the University of Saskatchewan, likes to walk, and loves coffee shops. Her column appears the first Friday of every month.
